If you accept Festivus as an end of year holiday on December 23 (and plenty of people do, believe it or not), you might as well get in on it with the airing of grievances. I like to think of them as New Year’s Resolutions for other people.
For fellow Gym rats:
I don’t work out at your bar, don’t socialize in my gym. Save the chitchat on the machines for a time when someone isn’t waiting on you to finish your workout and move on.
Don’t use the rest between reps to check your emails or sit vacantly, contemplating the folly of a misspent life. Get off the damned Nautilius and let someone else work in with you!
To the people on the Supermarket Cashier line:
Hey, person in front of me! You know at some point you must pay for your purchases, so don’t act like it’s a big surprise! Save everyone some time and have your cash or card in your hand; don’t wait till the last minute to dig through your wallet or purse.
To the person behind me: I promise you, the line will not move any faster if you cram up against me with your cart (or worse, your body) as we wait for the cashier. Stop breathing down my neck.
Don’t call me before 9 am or after 10 pm. I always think it’s because someone has died. It’s annoying to find that you just want to tell me about a cute video.
I could go on all day…but what about you? What New Year’s Resolutions do you want for other people – no names, please, but let ‘er rip! Share your thoughts in the comments!
And Happy New Year!
Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send Open Thread suggestions to email@example.com.